A bit fuzzy

I work "in computers". I'm not a programmer, and I'm not an IT planner manager type of thing. I work on a support desk, and before you say it I don't tell people to switch it off and on again all day.

In fact, if you ask my friends along the way, a number of them will have said that I've been "in computers" for quite a long time. This kind of annoys me, because I've done a lot of things besides, and in fact I spent quite a time "in electronics" but since people understand electronics even less than they understand computers, I've lost the energy to correct them. I'd like to have been a "boffin", but truthfully I was never good enough. In fact I haven't really been "in computers" for very long. Some boys have been into Barbie longer that I've been into computers.

Do you like exams? For a certain type of person they have an appeal. Most of the time the answers are right or wrong, particularly it seems in science subjects, mostly at the junior level. It's quite attractive, isn't it? Just learn the right answers, learn the equations, theorems and limited scenarios and by your early 20s you can have a degree.

From the outside, it can appear that computer people just know a string of right answers to fixed questions, like a big lifelong exam. The boring bit is learning a huge number of questions and answers, but once you have "you too can have a career in IT". There's a few ads on the telly about this at the moment. Apparently if you can pass their simple test, a career in IT awaits you.

Er, no. Firstly, I still think computers are quite hard. There's so much to know and learn. Secondly, it's not quite as binary as I'd like. Often there isn't a right answer. What works today, will not work in a few years time (Millennium bug anyone?). What works for one customer won't work for another. What's cheap for me is really expensive for you. What's easy for me to understand is impossible for your staff to grasp. You too can have a career in IT, but expect long hours and your skills to have a shelf life shorter than a Sainsbury's value banana.

It's ironic that for many years (since I was about eight as I recall) I've been taught about the binary numbering system, and how it's the cornerstone of computing, but actually there couldn't be anything less binary than the computer biz, in all its shapes and angles. I'll give you an example - you can't even predict exactly how long your PC is going to take to start up Word after you click the icon. Actually, you can't even predict how many Word icons there are on an average PC...

So next time someone says they're "in computers", it's not just about a long list of questions with fixed answers. It's a job like any other - unpredictable, stressful, fun and frustrating. You can be bored if you like, computers can be pretty dull, but so can midwifery. Oh, and sometimes the best thing is to turn them off.