Thursday 27 August 2009

Inglourious Basterds

As I took my ticket in the small art deco cinema in Hertfordshire, I should have asked "Where does the magic happen?". Why else would I voluntarily sit in an almost empty dark room on a summer's day?

The power in a larger screen, as opposed to the haunted gold fish bowl in you living room is to emote you into another dimension, and although I'm quite blasé about this media I found myself so transported. Alternately I was repulsed by the violence, enraptured by the close ups of Mélanie Laurent (the vengeful Jewess Shosanna Dreyfus) and had my heart racing in apprehension for the plot outcome. Perhaps I should get out more.

Some of the cinematography was a bit sixth form, with a kind of "Let's just try this..." attitude as cameras were plonked by steps or in the back of trucks, and the plot, like a lot of fantasy, is just a clothes horse for these cartoonesque characters.

Actually, that's the way to compartmentalise this film - think of it as a violent, witty, fast moving cartoon with Brad Pitt as Top Cat with a penchant for sadism and you're part way there - right down to the unjustified over-confidence and annoying American accent.

There's lots to recommend this film, and it was really my cup of tea. There was something special about Mélanie Laurent putting on her veil and observing her in her three beauty-spot allure. Oh, and a fancy dress party of guys in dress Nazi uniforms with waitresses in suspenders seems like the kind of party I want to go to.

Ultimately it's a romp, and probably not a harmless one. But hey, if you hate Nazis, it'll be your thing.

Monday 23 February 2009

Smug Couples

Cast your mind back to 21. First job, second love, cash and leather trousers.

Actually I was at Uni, and I knew a couple called Tania and Al. To save their embarrassment I have used their real names - any other combination of names would have chanced upon someone I actually cared about.

Tania was sweet enough, and Al was tolerable in small doses, but Tania was always so unbearably happy and Al was smug in a kind of "I'm getting some" kind of way. Tania had a big smile, and a quick wave. But she never really had any time for me, and guess what, when Al dumped here, I didn't really have much time for her. I'm sure she had good friends, but she would have had another friend if she gave those around her a bit more. It's a case of investing time for the future.

Today, I want to talk about the long game. Everyone is familiar with the syndrome of your mate starting to ignore you once they're in a strongly monogamous relationship. Coffee dates are missed, phone calls and emails go unanswered.

OK - that's human. But it's a story that's often repeated. Somehow, I managed to offend a woman. Let's call her A. Well, I'm sorry she was offended. I can be a bit tactless at times, but hell, I'm over 18 and am allowed to speak without being spoken to now and again. The way to deal with this, is to pointedly talk back at me - so we can work out our differences. But no, she whines to her violent boyfriend, who I've never met, who thinks conflict resolution 101 is to threaten me with a couple of text messages, from her phone.

That's broken our friendship. OK, it wasn't Jake and Elwood, but I would have helped her in any way I could. But now I can't help someone who thinks it's OK to threaten someone via a party I've never met. It's been months now - no apology offered, so there isn't one to accept.

Well, I recently heard she's dropped her hot-headed bf. He was the one with the temper, so now we're in a situation were a perfectly decent women is not friends with a perfectly decent bloke. You do the maths.