Smug Couples

Cast your mind back to 21. First job, second love, cash and leather trousers.

Actually I was at Uni, and I knew a couple called Tania and Al. To save their embarrassment I have used their real names - any other combination of names would have chanced upon someone I actually cared about.

Tania was sweet enough, and Al was tolerable in small doses, but Tania was always so unbearably happy and Al was smug in a kind of "I'm getting some" kind of way. Tania had a big smile, and a quick wave. But she never really had any time for me, and guess what, when Al dumped here, I didn't really have much time for her. I'm sure she had good friends, but she would have had another friend if she gave those around her a bit more. It's a case of investing time for the future.

Today, I want to talk about the long game. Everyone is familiar with the syndrome of your mate starting to ignore you once they're in a strongly monogamous relationship. Coffee dates are missed, phone calls and emails go unanswered.

OK - that's human. But it's a story that's often repeated. Somehow, I managed to offend a woman. Let's call her A. Well, I'm sorry she was offended. I can be a bit tactless at times, but hell, I'm over 18 and am allowed to speak without being spoken to now and again. The way to deal with this, is to pointedly talk back at me - so we can work out our differences. But no, she whines to her violent boyfriend, who I've never met, who thinks conflict resolution 101 is to threaten me with a couple of text messages, from her phone.

That's broken our friendship. OK, it wasn't Jake and Elwood, but I would have helped her in any way I could. But now I can't help someone who thinks it's OK to threaten someone via a party I've never met. It's been months now - no apology offered, so there isn't one to accept.

Well, I recently heard she's dropped her hot-headed bf. He was the one with the temper, so now we're in a situation were a perfectly decent women is not friends with a perfectly decent bloke. You do the maths.